Friday, December 21, 2007

Bored Already

I have barely been home for a week and am already ready to go back. It is so boring here. How did I live here for 19 1/2 years of my life? Technically there isn't that much more to do in Tuscaloosa but my friends are there and there are so many of them that there is always something to do plus I am always busy with school. That part I don't really miss. I am enjoying the time off from studying, but at the same time looking forward to seeing what next semester brings. I plan to do a lot better next semester as far as studying and making good grades goes. I am not waiting till mid term to decide that I need to kick it up in second gear. I need my 4.0 back. I don't care what it takes.
That also brings up anothe confusing subject in my life. To date or not to date? I'm not sure that I am looking for anything serious at this point, nor do I think I have time for it. But at the same time I do like someone...possibly more than one someone....I know thats horrible of me. I am trying to not like one of them but it is not working. I am doing myself no good liking him though and the bad thing is that I know that. Nothing is ever going to become of it, although I feel as if he started the whole thing by seeking out me. He is older than me and has a whole different aspect and focus on life and where he wants to be and go. And then behind door number 2 there is sweet, attractive guy number 2 that is my age that does sorta want a relationship and here I am being this selfish spoiled rotten brat that can't let go of something long enough to give him a chance. Someone should just give me a swift kick in the ass and make me wake up. I really do want to give him chance, but also at the same time I want to be fair to him. Basically the friendship that I have with guy number one will continue no matter will just become more of a friendship than the open relationship status it is now. Any guy that I date is just going to have to understand that the majority of my friends are guys and that is just how it is. He is just going to have to trust me. I am not going too put up with the crap that my roomate puts up with. That just brings me back to thinking that being single will be better for me right now. That way I don't have to deal with anything but myself. Oh well I will figure it out eventually.....but hopefully soon before I ruin my chances.

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